Progress and Check in

Just a quick little update

It's all happening so fast. So I proceed on my journey to weight loss surgery I am proud to say that i lost 13lbs. so far. Even my surgeon office was shocked that I lost that much in 2 weeks. I'm happy about that but I did realize one thing. Those 13lbs came off because I was eating what i was supposed to which is vegetables and protein. In other words no breads, cereal, rice, pastas and etc. When I started week 3 this past Monday I was like well maybe I can eat some bread, just a little. Well that was a wrong thing because the bread then turned to 2 slices to a helluva lot of other things that I won't even mention. Wrong thing to do and when I start Week 4 on Monday, I am going back to No Sugars, if its not protein and vegetables don't eat!

Sleep Apnea & The CPAP

After my sleep study, I got the results back and I was shocked to see that I actually have sleep apnea and I am not just overly exhausted. My doctors office even said that it was a severe case and that I would need to start using the CPAP machine to treat it until I lose more weight. I wasn't excited about the machine at all, but I was excited about getting more sleep and not falling asleep while on the road. I went to pick up my machine and while I was there i tried on 2 masks that look like torture. I picked one that I felt comfortable with and took it home.

1st night was awful, it was uncomfortable and I had to keep myself from having a panic attack, my ears kept popping every time I swallow, I couldn't adjust it, air kept coming out. I got so fed up, I ended up snatching it off and just sleeping without it. 2nd night was a little better, I got it to fit right, my ears still popped everytime I swallowed and I ended up snatching it off because something scared the crap outta me and I couldn't take it anymore. Night 3 was better than all of them, I put the mask on, elevated my pillows and went to sleep quite fast, my ears popped again but not as bad but I slept. I still ended up taking the mask off in the middle of the night, due to me having really really dry mouth. In the end i guess its just going to take some time to get used to it but I try to think positive, once I lose more weight I won't need a machine period.

So let's see, these past 2 weeks, I had an awesome weigh in, I went to my venous ultrasound which came out good, no blood clots or risks of blood clots in either leg. I went to my 1st support group and my bariatric nutrition class. Next up is my EKG, Gallbladder Ultrasound, Chest x-ray, Labs and I think that may be it. I'm excited and also nervous but more excited. I now see why they call WLS a learning tool to use to lose and maintain weight. Back in the days like most people I too thought that WLS was the easy way out but after all the research that I have done and the support groups I have gone too, I now see that its not the easy way out, its a life change that you have to stick to because if you don't you can still gain all the weight back.

Honesty

MY WEIGHT

I have been very self conscious and quiet about my weight ever since I realized I was overweight or obese. I realized I was overweight in 6th grade, I remember I was sitting outside with all of my friends and we were all sharing how much we weighed. I proudly told everyone that I was 114lbs. They all looked at me and said that's a lot. I was so embarrassed and at that point I just knew I would never ever tell anyone how much I weigh. They can just use their own judgement.

It wasn't until I started doing Vlogs on YouTube that I figured who cares, its a weight loss journey vlog and only people who are in the same boat as me are going to watch it so why not. I think I am up to that point right now where I know I need to lose weight and now is the time to just be comfortable sharing how much I weigh and how much I am looking to lose and etc.

The next Blog will be my weight with all the goal dates that I will try and stick to. Doc said I need to lose 30 pounds before my gastric and I will and I will check in and log it for the ones who follow my journey and for those who just care to see how I'm doing.

It Starts

WARNING THIS BLOG MAY SOUND A BIT RAMBLY!!!!

(in other words I may go on and on at random)

After much anticipation, I finally got my appointment with my surgeon to talk about my procedure. Before that me and my husband went to an orientation session that talked about each one of the procedures (Lap-Band, Gastric Sleeve and Gastric Bypass). I pretty much knew which one I was going to get but it was good to hear the risks, the side effects and the percentage of weight loss.

Next came my sleep study. Wow! the sleep study was so scary and uncomfortable. For one thing I had to go alone and it was at night when the offices in that building are closed. I walked in and there was a tall man who may have been Russian he had a strong accent but I don't know. He led me in the office and I was so glad to see that there were other people there so I wasn't going into a torture chamber. I walked into what would be my room and it looked like a hotel room it had a nice bed and fluffy pillows, he proceeded by putting about 8-10 sensors all over the face, neck, head and nose. He told me to lay down, also instructed me to try and stay on my back (which really sucks because I'm a side back sleeper) and put a sensor in my nose that measured the way I breath and said if I have trouble or stop breathing then he will have to hook me up with the CPAP which is a device that controls sleep apnea. He said goodnight and closed the door. At first I couldn't sleep at all and was just staring at the dark, I was so used to being in bed with my husband with the TV on or even hearing my one year old babbling in the background. Once I got used to that I fell asleep. My dreams were so odd that night, I can't even explain what happened but they were interrupted by him coming in and telling me that I would need the mask to help me sleep better.

 Holy crap is that mask uncomfortable! I thought I was going to have a freaking panic attack! He put it on me and made it tight, said goodnight again and left. Omg I thought I was going to freak out, I have this crap that has air coming through that I am breathing in, I started to think, am I actually in a torture chamber? After I took a deep breath I calmed down and went to sleep, the weird dreams started again and were again interrupted by someone from somewhere telling me to lay back on my back because I was making the CPAP do weird things. So I rolled back over to my back and fell back asleep. Next thing you know the CPAP shuts off and it feels like my air was half taken away and again I almost panicked, I needed someone to come right away to take this device off of me. Needless to say and to make a long story short,  besides the major back pain that i had because I slept uncomfortable and on my back all night, I had the best sleep ever with that machine.

Diagnosis: The tech said I would need to use the machine until I lost more weight.

I am not looking forward to it but I am looking forward to feeling refreshed when I wake up and not falling asleep while driving.

Moving right along to my one on one. I went in to talk to my surgeon about my options and what she thought was the best for me. She actually ended up saying that she thought the Gastric Bypass (instead of the gastric sleeve) would be the best procedure for me......uh.....I'm not too sure about that. She said I have a while to thing about it which is good and that I should just keep researching and talking to anyone who has had it done.

Next up....scheduling a crap load of appointments with the coordinator. 

I won't type it all but I will post what needs to be done so you can see.

DIET!

The surgeon wants me to lose 30lbs. before the procedure. GOOD LAWD!!! I know I can do it though. I am on my way to a new life and a new me and I'm so excited.

In other news

Next year we plan on trying to get our lives settled, we are hoping and praying that everything will all fall into place. We are hoping the hubby gets a job, gets his license back, we find a Lil apartment and find a more reliable car all by February of 2012. Let the savings and frugal living begin.....AGAIN

Until next time, stay happy healthy and drama free.

Quote for today:

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently.
Palladas

My 1st Appointment was to make appointments (short and sweet)

Update regarding my appt.

My first appt at association of south bay surgeons was kind of lame. They checked my weight and took a snapshot of me like a mugshot and then I was taken to a lady who set up 2 appts. for me, one for an orientation and one for a one on one with my surgeon. I asked the lady if she knew when my insurance would tell me if its approved and she said if I got this far I will probably be approved. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'm not going through all of this for nothing. Wish me luck!

Work life

So I finally figured out why I get so stressed out at work, its not what I do for the Corp. office and its not what I do for my crazy manager. It's what I do to help people out and when something happens frustration happens, upset happens and I feel like its taken out on me. I swear if you don't think I'm capable of doing something then just take me away and let me just focus on something else. I know I am a good worker and I know I do my job well. I may have stuff to work on as an assistant manager but I know that what I do should be appreciated, I get that appreciation from some but never from the cause of my stress. Oh well its cool.....I'm done venting now, tomorrow is another day.

What do they think?



Change is going to come and what do my family and friends think about it?

My Husband

When I told my husband about it, he wasn’t against it but he wanted to go with me to ALL appts. And here what is exactly going to be going on. After that he’ll make the decision if he’s ok with it too. His point is that he doesn’t want anything bad to happen; he doesn’t want to lose his wife and etc. I totally understand what he is feeling.

My Mom & Dad

I told Mom about what my decision was and surprisingly she wasn’t against it. She told me to pray about it and whatever I decided she would be there for me. At first I didn’t even want to tell her at all but this time I told her about my research that I’ve been doing for it and why I made the decision and she was so positive. We both would practically die if we lost each other. My Well I haven’t had the chance to talk to him about it……well…I actually don’t know if I want to tell him about it at all. I’m kind of scared of his response. I shouldn’t be because my Dad loves me and is always there for me through whatever I go through but I’m kind of just not telling him until I find out details for sure and if I am even approved. So Dad will have to wait.

My co-workers

I’ve been telling some people at work about it, only the people that are close to me because I don’t think its anybody else’s business. My close co-workers are very supportive and if I get it done they are going to be my support too. At work we tend to snack, snack, snack and snack, so with support from them too I know I’ll be strong.

My friends

I’ve only told a few friends, I don’t have many friends so I guess I should say that I’ve told 2 friends. My 2 friends asked a lot of questions basically the usual what is it, why do you want it, do you feel you need it and what are the common side effects. Since I’ve been researching for so long I had the answer to EVERY question. I was fully prepared for their negativity and their thoughts of being against it but surprisingly they both had my back and said if I needed anything during the process just let them know.

Dr. Takahashi

My 1st doctor’s appt. is tomorrow. I’m anxious and excited at the same time. The last couple of weeks my weight has been like a Yo Yo, up 3lbs. down 2 lbs. up 1 lb. down 3 lbs. It’s so annoying!

I appreciate all the thoughts, support of prayers from my family and friends and we’ll see what the doc says tomorrow.

Until next time, have a great week!



Short and Sweet RN/LVN

So....I have an appt with the adviser on the 19th to discuss applying for MSMC in January of 2012. I went to the information session and learned that its going to be quite rough especially having a family and also supporting the family too. It's what I want to do though, I've wanted to do it ever since I was a little kid and didn't do it because I'm an idiot who just assumed that I wouldn't be able to do it. It's a new start and I'm ready for the challenge. I was think maybe I could start out small but going to school to be a licensed vocational nurse but I don't know, we'll see.

Depression turning into happiness.

I think I'm in a state of minor depression. I'm going through a hard part of life and I can't wait til it passes. I'm staying positive no matter how hard it is to. Within the next few months I will be making a decision regarding part of my life. It will be my own decision and I'm hoping people will understand why I am doing it and just be there for me. I'm also planning on going to school for nursing because it's time for me to get down to business, do what I love and make good money for doing what I love. I'm excited for these new changes and I cannot wait til I can get the ball rolling.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Carson, Ca.

Down n' out, worn out and tired

Ugh!
I'm tired, being a parent is so rough. I get home from work and I have to work at home. When do I get to rest? I don't. Today was a stressful rough day and it took a lot outta me. I feel like collapsing and wish I could take the rest of the week off. Not to mention the fact that I did not lose weight this week, instead I gained a pound. I know why already, I'm so upset with myself and I just need motivation, I have none. All I want to do is come home and do nothing. I don't want to work out because i am lacking the energy. I hate the way I am feeling right now. I am excited to be starting weight watchers hopefully next week, maybe talking to others like me will help because doing it by myself is a struggle. It's like I stay with it for a minute then I drop it and crash. Anywho I can't wait til our adult vacation, it's greatly needed for us, I'm hoping it will just rejuvenate me. Until next week, thanks for taking the time out to read.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Home

Morbidly Obese

MORBIDLY OBESE
I see those 2 words and they scared the crap outta me. Who would of thought that I would fall into that category? Not me. It's scary to see those words and its just a wake up call that I really need to step it up. I said I needed motivation and those 2 words should be it. I swear I should post that up everywhere as a reminder. Those 2 words make me cringe every time I see them. I don't want to die this way, I gotta get healthy so I won't see those 2 words anymore. They scare me to death. This week starts the Couch to 5K again. I'm on my way to not being MORBIDLY OBESE!

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Weight check in: I am the same weight as I was last week, its a little disappointing but at least it wasn't a gain.

Have a good week!

This is my 3rd and last time trying to post my 1st 2011 blog! ARGH!

So I was going to start this blog off with saying, I failed, I'm ashamed, I gained weight, I did bad, but I decided not to. 2010 is over and I refuse to focus on it.

It's 2011, everybody asks what are your resolutions? Well....I don't do resolutions because I never stick to my resolutions. I am the kind of person that will set goals, I like to set goals to where I know that I WILL attempt to succeed in whatever goals I set. So my goal for this year is to better myself as a whole. Yes I am working on trying to lose weight but there are other things I have in mind when it comes to thinking about myself. I'm shocked that I am even thinking about myself because I tend to put myself last, yeah I know I'm not supposed to but hey my boys are so important to me, they always come first. My plans to better myself involve, weight loss (along with exercise and healthy eating), that comes first because I want to live to see my kids grow up, set an example to my children that being healthy is important. I too want to be healthy, I want to see myself as pretty and I just want to have the whole package with self-esteem and confidence in it too. Second is I want my girlie back, when I was dating Jason I used to wear dresses, skirts, cute girlie tops and makeup and wear my hair down. Now, years later, with 2 kids, I wear sweat pants and Jason's t-shirts :-O I don't want to be like that anymore so that change is definitely happening as we speak, obviously I am a broke ass but I'm making due, lol.  Oh and I know that some of this sounds like a repeat of other blogs but its just my goals and I plan on sticking to it. Don't worry the other blogs won't sound as repetitive.

Other things I have in the works are the fact that I got a promotion, it all started with drama that I won't mention and I think they had another reason why they promoted me but I won't go there and I'll be happy that it finally happened. I am now pretty happy to go to work & I'm more motivated to continue doing the awesome job that I already do.

In other news, things may be changing this year, I won't go into details because nothing is set in stone but I'm hoping everything will work out just fine. Like my dad says, "remember the 2 P's, prayer and planning", I'm definitely going to keep that in mind so we won't have any surprises.

Alright I'm going to end this and I'm not going to end this by saying I promise to blog every week but I will say it is my intention to blog as much as I can because it helps me relieve things and its kind of a hobby for me, I'll try to make it as exciting as I can.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Last week I lost a lb. and this week my goal was to lose 2lbs. I'll keep that part of my journey updated.

Have an awesome week!